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The Perfect Campground

Have you ever thought of opening your own campground just so you could do it right? I have. Too many campgrounds have been designed (if they’ve been designed at all) by people who don’t use them. I think the only perfect campground in the Ohio River region exists in my mind’s eye.

Let’s start with why we choose to go to a campground. There are usually two main reasons: price and convenience. A backcountry site is often free and better than a campground, so a campground is not really competing with a backcountry site. It’s competing with and beating a hotel on price – usually. Some of the worst “campgrounds” – RV ghettoes – are some of the most expensive. I once pulled into a KOA out of desperation and a “campsite” was $54! No thanks.

But really, we usually camp for the experience of being outdoors or to launch our hiking/mountain biking/rappelling/paddling/geocaching/whatever adventures. Here’s my starter list for the perfect campground:

Privacy. At the perfect campground, you should be barely aware that anyone else is camping nearby. This means you can’t see or hear other campers. When it comes to most state park campgrounds, let’s start with halving the number of campsites.

Setting. A campground should be in or next to the woods. An open meadow is also great for landscape diversity, stargazing, firefly watching and Frisbee tossing (think Seneca Shadows campground in the Mon). A nearby body of water, whether it’s a river or a lake, is a must. Campsites atop a ridge are another good option, provided they have a view. Finally, an ideal campground is one where you can park your car and never get in it again till you leave because trailhead access is so close.

Humans over cars. At Cumberland Island National Seashore, you take a boat to the island and there are a handful of garden carts waiting for you at the dock. You throw your camping gear in and walk it a quarter mile or so to the campground. You will never hear car wheels or a car stereo, nor will you be awakened by headlights in the middle of the night. Sweet.

A good place for your tent. Nobody wants to pitch their tent in a mud puddle or on a concrete slab (I’ve had to do both). Is there anyone reading this who does not have a bent-in-half tent stake? For lightly used campsites, grass is nice, and for heavily used campsites, those level pads with crushed limestone or small gravel do the trick.

Good infrastructure. The perfect campsite has an attractive, clean wooden outdoor solar shower and a high-tech composting toilet (that is, one that doesn’t stink – they do exist). Nobody’s site is between the other sites and the shower/bath house. I like the idea of having a fire ring at each campsite and a communal fire ring for campers who want to hang out with other people. (Think of the communal fire ring at Miguel’s in the Red River Gorge. In stark contrast to the rest of the campground. What a shithole. But the pizza’s good!) A shared shelter is good for bad weather days. A well-sited sink and spigot will allow you to wash your dishes and clean the mud off of your shoes without creating a whole new cesspool in its wake.

A good pet policy. For many pet owners, there’s nothing more fun than camping with their best friend. For many pet and non-pet owners, there’s nothing less fun than listening to another camper’s dog bark morning, noon and night. The perfect campground has a clearly defined pet policy – whether it caters to pets or restricts them.

Programming. As long as we’re talking perfect, how ’bout a campground that has some programming – nature hikes and stargazing for starters. Maybe they can get fancy with backcountry cooking courses or campfire songs (not cheesy ones!).

What constitutes your perfect campground?

Comments

I will want to add that wi-fi would be good :D

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