Actually, everyone isn’t a critic, but it can sometimes feel that way. For example, I was once at a party and met a guy who was training to swim around the island of Manhattan. Wow. I was really impressed, excited for him, peppered him with questions about his training regimen, congratulated him in advance for even dipping one toe into the frigid and polluted water.
Then I mentioned the woman (Alison Streeter) who has swum across the English Channel something like 43 times – you know, the chubbiest elite athlete you’ve ever seen. She rocks! His tone turned on a dime and he began to badmouth her for some kind of insanely insignificant point. I think she puts Vaseline between her thighs to prevent chafing or something like that. To him, this all but disqualifies her feats. My mental reaction to his criticism was, what an asshole. My verbal response wasn’t too much nicer, something like, “Yeah, she sucks. Swim the English Channel? Hey, a fish could do that.”
But this isn’t the way I want to talk with a fellow adventure athlete, or anyone for that matter.
Fortunately, I have had the pleasure of interacting with many people who have taught me a thing or two about putting something positive out there. Let me share some of those examples.
A few years ago, I wrote the book Hiking Ohio, part of the FalconGuide series. At the time, just about everyone I knew congratulated me on getting the contract, on writing the book; most of my friends and a lot of strangers came to my book signings. Even more amazing is that, to this day, people will tell me they went on an enjoyable hike recently that they discovered through my book.
Just yesterday, someone took a minute to send an e-mail telling me how much she liked a story she read on Get Out! and that she was adding the site to her favorites.
I’ll be the first to tell you that nothing from Hiking Ohio or Get Out! will become a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize, and I’m sure readers recognize this too. But nobody seems to really care about that – most people seem to be happy for someone else who just puts their work or talent out there, which takes time, effort and risk. They aren’t so interested in tearing down the work or effort that others have put forth.
Another thing I’ve noticed is this general sense of encouragement seems to get eroded the further we get from others – especially to the point where they become “other.” When it’s someone we’ve never met, someone we don’t think we have anything in common with, when it’s someone who we have other strange feelings toward – jealousy? fear? – we can go from encouraging to over-the-top critical. I wonder what would happen if that swimmer from the party were to meet the woman who swam the English Channel. Somehow I picture him telling her what a big fan he is. Maybe I’m wrong. But can’t you picture that?
So here’s a new adventure to try: keep it sincere (this is important) and share more encouragement and compliments in the near future. Your encouragement helps others try or stick with a creative project, a hard-to-attain athletic goal, whatever. When they put something out there, they give others tacit permission to do the same.
Then I mentioned the woman (Alison Streeter) who has swum across the English Channel something like 43 times – you know, the chubbiest elite athlete you’ve ever seen. She rocks! His tone turned on a dime and he began to badmouth her for some kind of insanely insignificant point. I think she puts Vaseline between her thighs to prevent chafing or something like that. To him, this all but disqualifies her feats. My mental reaction to his criticism was, what an asshole. My verbal response wasn’t too much nicer, something like, “Yeah, she sucks. Swim the English Channel? Hey, a fish could do that.”
But this isn’t the way I want to talk with a fellow adventure athlete, or anyone for that matter.
Fortunately, I have had the pleasure of interacting with many people who have taught me a thing or two about putting something positive out there. Let me share some of those examples.
A few years ago, I wrote the book Hiking Ohio, part of the FalconGuide series. At the time, just about everyone I knew congratulated me on getting the contract, on writing the book; most of my friends and a lot of strangers came to my book signings. Even more amazing is that, to this day, people will tell me they went on an enjoyable hike recently that they discovered through my book.
Just yesterday, someone took a minute to send an e-mail telling me how much she liked a story she read on Get Out! and that she was adding the site to her favorites.
I’ll be the first to tell you that nothing from Hiking Ohio or Get Out! will become a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize, and I’m sure readers recognize this too. But nobody seems to really care about that – most people seem to be happy for someone else who just puts their work or talent out there, which takes time, effort and risk. They aren’t so interested in tearing down the work or effort that others have put forth.
Another thing I’ve noticed is this general sense of encouragement seems to get eroded the further we get from others – especially to the point where they become “other.” When it’s someone we’ve never met, someone we don’t think we have anything in common with, when it’s someone who we have other strange feelings toward – jealousy? fear? – we can go from encouraging to over-the-top critical. I wonder what would happen if that swimmer from the party were to meet the woman who swam the English Channel. Somehow I picture him telling her what a big fan he is. Maybe I’m wrong. But can’t you picture that?
So here’s a new adventure to try: keep it sincere (this is important) and share more encouragement and compliments in the near future. Your encouragement helps others try or stick with a creative project, a hard-to-attain athletic goal, whatever. When they put something out there, they give others tacit permission to do the same.
Comments
Thnak you.