One of the small pleasures of rock climbing is coming across that perfect climb name – one that cleverly describes the route (Totally Clips, Handsome and Well Hung) or the experience you can expect to have on the climb (Just Say Yo to Jugs, Not on the First Date, Mid-Height Crisis) or just has a fun reference (Where’s the Beef and Where’s the Bolt, Jimi Cliff, etc.)
One of the not-so-small displeasures is coming across the far too many misogynistic names of climbs. So what to do? I’ve begun renaming these climbs – I just cross out the old name in my book and my friends and I come up with a new name – and I invite you to join me. And be sure to tell other climbers, guidebook authors, publishers and especially the dudes who names these climbs that it’s not funny to name a climb that attempts to degrade half of the world’s population (although the name really reflects on the person who named it that). Funny is funny, even when it’s sick. Not funny and offensive is just plain offensive.
A sampling of the original and renamed climbs in my guidebooks:
LOCATION: Cooper’s Rock, WV
OLD NAME: Man Eating Bitch
NEW NAME: I’m Still Bitter About the Most Recent Relationship I F--- Up
LOCATION: Red River Gorge, KY
OLD NAME: Pussy Whipped
NEW NAME: My Buddy Likes His Girlfriend More Than He Likes Me (And I Can’t Figure Out Why)
LOCATION: Iron Gate, VA
OLD NAME: Dead Girls Don’t Say No
NEW NAME: Dead Guys Can’t Rape
LOCATION: Summersville Lake, WV
OLD NAME: Long Dong Silver
NEW NAME: I Am Not Compensating for Anything, Really
OLD NAME: Pocket Pussy
NEW NAME: Hey, Why Don’t More Chicks Climb?
Here are a few you can take a stab at:
Gang Bang (New River Gorge)
Domestic Violence (Red River Gorge)
Wet Ho’s (Coopers Rock)
Comments
Here's my shot at it:
Old Name: Wet Ho’s
New Name: I can't be with a grown woman because I'm inappropriately attached to my mother
Here are my suggestions:
Gang Bang - Hell, I'll take consensual sex with one person any day!
Domestic Violence - I Don't Get Mad, I get Even!
Wet Ho's - Strong Swimmin' Women!
One man insisted that we hadn't carried enough food or gear, although we had plenty and were highly prepared and experienced campers and hikers. Another group of military dudes was camping near us, and they went out of their way to offer to set up our tent, to pump our water filters, etc. Although we appreciated their chivalry, we were annoyed at their assumptions of our incompetence. Poetic justice prevailed when they were choking down their nasty MREs while we were cooking up a fab gourmet meal of italian pesto pasta, garlic, olive oil and sundried tomatoes..... we decided that we should start up an alternative organic dried foods company called "Trail Babes' Tender Vittles."
it would be so funny if it would was so sad..
my suggestion:
OLD NAME: Dead Girls Don’t Say No
NEW NAME: 90% of men have sexual issues
OLD NAME: Gang Bang
NEW NAME: I love men